At the seasons change, and the wheel of the year turns to shorter days and cooler nights, we find ourselves looking at the events that this year has offered us and the abundance that we have “harvested”; abundance that for some, has been a source of joy, and for others, a source of anxiety. It is with this in mind, that I share my thoughts on the importance of gratitude for what we “harvest” in our lives.
At Isuarsivik, we find ourselves in a constant flux of adjustment to change; change brought on by the move to a new and beautiful center, new administrative protocols, new colleagues and social contexts, and all these changes have had important impacts on our personal lives.
As we maneuver the occasionally choppy waters of the transitions this past year, acknowledging the “gifts” we have received this year, as well as what remains and is constant – will play an important role in our perception of what we have “lost”.
“Gifts”?? You may be asking… Well, yes! One “gift” in particular (and I believe to be the most important) is that of Perspective. Life truly is all about perspective, isn’t it? To be able to see a situation in a different light, a more positive, empowering light, automatically changes the way we feel about our situation. That said, changing our perspective and perception about a heart wrenching situation, is not necessarily an easy process.
When someone suggests you try being grateful when you’ve lost your job, lost a loved one, are getting divorced, or are experiencing some other kind of awful, you probably want to punch that person in the face. (Hold on. Let me step aside!) But practicing gratitude during a difficult time can genuinely help.
According to renowned gratitude researcher Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D, in his piece in Greater Good Magazine, “No one ‘feels’ grateful that he or she has lost a job or a home or good health or has taken a devastating hit on his or her retirement portfolio.” This is understandable. Plus, “we don’t have total control over our emotions. We cannot easily will ourselves to feel grateful, less depressed, or happy.”
Emmons also states, there’s a distinction between feeling grateful and being grateful. While we might not feel grateful during a difficult time, we can be grateful. We can choose a grateful perspective.
In short, gratitude can be our raft to a calmer, more serene place in our heart and mind, so here are a few “gifts” that may be of inspiration to you:
- Gift of Hope. Remember that there is a solution to every problem, and that everything is temporary. What you are experiencing in this moment, will come to a natural end, probably much sooner than you think!
- Gift of Clarity. In times of disaster, it is so much easier to lose ourselves in catastrophic thoughts of doom and gloom, which is why it is imperative that we take the time to list every aspect of our lives that has not changed. This exercise will shed a clearer light on aspects of your life that you are still in control of and will help create a sense of psychological resilience and equilibrium.
- Gift of Wisdom. Know that you are exactly where you need to be in this moment and be grateful for the wisdom in the Life lessons that you have been sent. Maybe it is time to change an unhealthy behavior, or a negative perception that you have of something or someone. Or maybe it is time to make an important decision for the good of your mental health, or connect closer to your Faith, to your family, or to good friends you have lost sight of.
- Gift of Forgiveness. If your heart is filled with bitterness and grudges, there will be no space left over for gratitude. Forgiving your spouse for not being as understanding as you would have been, forgiving your children for making choices that would not have been your own, and giving up the grudge of a slight or injustice from a friend, are all parts of the gratitude equation. Forgive others for not acting or being like you had hoped. Maybe you need to set limits on your interaction with them, or distance yourself altogether as in the case of abuse, but carrying the torch of bitterness is going to hurt you more than them. As Buddha said, “Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
So, dear friends, I invite you to acknowledge all the important aspects of your life that have not changed, and be grateful for the gifts that you have received, and remember…You are exactly where you need to be, every minute of your life!
